...and we're back. I was just sharing some fun facts about myself you may (or more than likely may not) find interesting.
-One year at Christmas dinner when I was about 13 my Grandmother took it upon herself to point out the fact I had a mustache. As a result of this I started bleaching the dark facial hair on my upper lip. Several times I made the mistake of leaving said bleach on too long and this resulted in taking off a few layers of skin. I've always said a chemical burn is better than having a mustache.
-I can tell you all about the Canadian serial killer Karla Homolka. She peaked my interest after reading a trashy true crime "novel" about her a few years back. To the disdain of millions she is now a free woman and I've managed to track her down on the internet. I'll tell her you said hi.
-I have a Hemmingway-esque tendency to write when I drink. Luckily for me I have no desire to go deep sea fishing in Florida.
-I have recurring dreams that take place at my Grandparents farm house in Lum, MI.
-I didn't go away to college I took improv classes at the Second City Detroit instead.
-I have an overwhelming fear of flying and I'm almost convinced that if I get on a plane it will crash. I'm ashamed of this and need to get over it. I look forward to the massive amounts of drugs or alcohol that will motivate me to fly.
-I think "true love" is a farce and if you meet someone who will put up with your shit you should consider yourself lucky.
-I have an affinity for 1980's wrestling superstars that result in me coming off as a white trash dyke. (To quote Sarah Silverman: "I use the word because I'm so comfortable with it.) WOOOOOoooOOOO!
-Even though I look pissed off I'm really just thinking about cheese.
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1 comment:
1.) Thinking about cheese should not make you look pissed off, it should bring a look of blissful contentment to your face.
2.) Did the Canadian serial killer profusely apologize to her victims while she was killing them and like steam clean the carpets afterward so the families didn't have to worrk about it? Will she come serial kill me for making that biased stereotype about Canadian people? Do you think she will be able to make it past Immigration and Customs?
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