More than you need to know.

...and we're back. I was just sharing some fun facts about myself you may (or more than likely may not) find interesting.

-One year at Christmas dinner when I was about 13 my Grandmother took it upon herself to point out the fact I had a mustache. As a result of this I started bleaching the dark facial hair on my upper lip. Several times I made the mistake of leaving said bleach on too long and this resulted in taking off a few layers of skin. I've always said a chemical burn is better than having a mustache.

-I can tell you all about the Canadian serial killer Karla Homolka. She peaked my interest after reading a trashy true crime "novel" about her a few years back. To the disdain of millions she is now a free woman and I've managed to track her down on the internet. I'll tell her you said hi.

-I have a Hemmingway-esque tendency to write when I drink. Luckily for me I have no desire to go deep sea fishing in Florida.

-I have recurring dreams that take place at my Grandparents farm house in Lum, MI.

-I didn't go away to college I took improv classes at the Second City Detroit instead.

-I have an overwhelming fear of flying and I'm almost convinced that if I get on a plane it will crash. I'm ashamed of this and need to get over it. I look forward to the massive amounts of drugs or alcohol that will motivate me to fly.

-I think "true love" is a farce and if you meet someone who will put up with your shit you should consider yourself lucky.

-I have an affinity for 1980's wrestling superstars that result in me coming off as a white trash dyke. (To quote Sarah Silverman: "I use the word because I'm so comfortable with it.) WOOOOOoooOOOO!

-Even though I look pissed off I'm really just thinking about cheese.