7. Windshield Wipers. Those Mothertruckers always, ALWAYS stop working this time of year. As soon as ice and snow hit, rest assured I will be sticking my hand out the drivers side window (in traffic) to fix my wayward wiper. Don't even get me started on the fluid...
6. Chapped hands. I have sensitive, Irish, Whitey McWhite skin that when put in subzero temps. on a daily basis dries out like an ancient riverbed. My hands look like they've been dipped in red Kool-Aid. No lotion or emollient can beat the dry, itchiness that is my body. Sexy.
5. Salt stains. Seeing that I can't afford proper winter boots. My black leather work shoes have suffered greatly so far this year....
4. The month of February. By far the worst month of the year...right smack dab in the middle. February exists to remind us all that there is about two more months of shitty weather. Plus just for shits and giggles they throw Valentine's Day in there to make you feel even more worthless.
3. Snot. There seems to be an abundance of it as of late.
2. Award Shows. Hollywood gives themselves a pat on the back for a job well done of churning out uninspired, unimaginitve krap. Except for a choice few movies (Gran Torino & The Wrestler to name a few) there's really no reason for the A-listers to get all gussied up on Oscar night so they can kiss each other's ass....deep down they all know they're fakes.
1. Black Ice. -Starring Ice Cube and Ice T as renegade cops on a mission to stop an evil Columbian drug cartel.
2 comments:
Black Ice! Love it. Made me smile again.
You know what I hate about winter? Layering. Man, fuck you and your layers (not you personally). What the hell am I going to do with all these sweatshirts and coats and pants once I get hot? You know what else I hate? How you get all bundled up to go outside and then when you get to where you are going like the grocery store or the bank or the post office or your friendly local Pamida you sweat your ass off. God, it's almost as bad a lengthy, rambling comments. :p
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