Really bad haircuts from my past...(aka the most self-indulgent post ever.)

Everyone I know has pictures from their younger years with wonderfully bad hairstyles. Lucky for you I've decided to share some real doozies from my past...these pictures reveal not only that I was quite the risk taker when it came to my hair but also what a painfully awkward child I was. Enjoy and feel free to share your own hair horror stories!

8. Sixth grade. I believe I was taking a cue from Six on "Blossom" here.
7. Seventh grade. This unfortunate hair decision led to me getting the nickname "Poodle" from a boy in my Lit class. I remember chasing him into the bathroom and kicking him in the balls for making fun of me. Good times!
6. Bridget Fonda in "Single White Female".
5. My attempt to copy the Jennifer Aniston "Rachel" hairdo of the mid-nineties and failing miserably.
4. I call this one "Lesbian Goth".
3. During my "Prince Valiant" phase.
2. The grandaddy of them all. Check out the chin on that kid. Like my winter coat?
1. This is what my hair looks like now and has looked for years...this gives you something to compare all the really shitty haircuts too I guess. God, I feel like such an attention whore today! Validate me!

Eight things about winter that irk me....

8. Isolation. On some days during these winter months I just want to go inside my apartment and not come out until it's April. I haven't seen my family in Flint in weeks and I have a long list of calls from friends that need to be returned. Looks like the "Seasonal Affective Disorder Fairy" strikes again. That bitch needs to retire.

7. Windshield Wipers. Those Mothertruckers always, ALWAYS stop working this time of year. As soon as ice and snow hit, rest assured I will be sticking my hand out the drivers side window (in traffic) to fix my wayward wiper. Don't even get me started on the fluid...

6. Chapped hands. I have sensitive, Irish, Whitey McWhite skin that when put in subzero temps. on a daily basis dries out like an ancient riverbed. My hands look like they've been dipped in red Kool-Aid. No lotion or emollient can beat the dry, itchiness that is my body. Sexy.

5. Salt stains. Seeing that I can't afford proper winter boots. My black leather work shoes have suffered greatly so far this year....

4. The month of February. By far the worst month of the year...right smack dab in the middle. February exists to remind us all that there is about two more months of shitty weather. Plus just for shits and giggles they throw Valentine's Day in there to make you feel even more worthless.

3. Snot. There seems to be an abundance of it as of late.

2. Award Shows. Hollywood gives themselves a pat on the back for a job well done of churning out uninspired, unimaginitve krap. Except for a choice few movies (Gran Torino & The Wrestler to name a few) there's really no reason for the A-listers to get all gussied up on Oscar night so they can kiss each other's ass....deep down they all know they're fakes.

1. Black Ice. -Starring Ice Cube and Ice T as renegade cops on a mission to stop an evil Columbian drug cartel.

Random, random, random

8. "Bed knobs and Broomsticks".... A childhood favorite of mine. Cockney accents, witchcraft and Jessica Fletcher, what more could you ask for?

7. Speaking of cockney accents, if I bring a child into this world I thought it would be delightfully funny to speak only certain words in a thick, British accent in front of the young'n. For instance the word "Blueberry" would be "Blooberrie". As a result he would acquire a charming accent (but only for certain words). This would confuse the rest of the world but would bring me joy and great satisfaction.

6. I feel that I am the best bath towel folder in the world. I've had people comment on my towel folding prowess. Bow down.

5. Drinking coffee and then urinating results in urine that smells like coffee....it's like enjoying the wonderful, warm aroma all over again.

4. French's yellow mustard always gets under fingernails.

3. The Discovery Health Channel has the best titles for their programs, case in point: "Half Ton Dad", "I didn't know I was pregnant", "200 Pound Tumor", "Treeman: Search for the Cure", and "I am my own Twin". Riveting.

2. I know way too much about serial killers.

1. I hope you have a good day.